Salesman: "So long!.. Gotta catch the 501!" Homer: "He's
getting away!... You blew it Marge!" Marge: "I don't think so."
Salesman: "Ohhhh foiled by my own shotty merchandise!"
Bart: "It was an accident, man."
Otto: "Alcohol increases your ability to drive."
Apu: "But sir, I was only following standard proceedure."
Apu: "I don't want to live anymore."
Apu: "It's time to settle the score."
Marge: "Taking an officers hat is an arrestable offense." Homer
<in high pitched voice> "Oooh Oooooh what are ya gonna do about
it???... what are ya gonna do??? <mocking> Ewwww I'm gonna arrest
you.... <Handcuffs click> huh what???.... Marge...not here!"
Springfields' Cops Theme.
Chief Wiggum: "Alright you scrawny bean poles... Becoming a cop is
not something that happens overnight... There's a solid weekend of training
to get that badge."
Homer: "I am attracted to another woman, what am I gonna do?? Barney:
"Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction... You should
talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common."
Homer: "Barney, that is so insightful, how did you come up with that?"
Barney: "It was on one of these bar napkins!"
Bart: "Don't have a cow, Dad."
Abe: "Can we have sex??? Please???" Old woman: "Oh Abe!"
Abe: "Oh well, I tried.... what's for supper?"
Apu: "Mrs. Simpson, You did not pay for this bottle of Quickie Marts'
Kentucky bourbon!" Marge: "Ohhhhh"
Burns: "There's something wrong with this beer... I don't feel any
younger or funkier.." Smithers: "I'll switch to the tablespoon,
Chief Wiggum: "Alright settle people.. People, settle.. Wood
and Van stake out doughnut land, when the fire up a new batch, call it
in. and Simpson, seeing how this is your first day, you're inexperienced
and vulnerable, your beat is Junkeyville, and Bumtown."
Smithers: "But, what would you do without me, sir?" Burns: "Hah!
I am not a baby who needs a nursemaid to burp me...<BURP!> you see?"
Lisa: "Hey mom, is this how you caught 'em?" Marge: "Yeah."
Bart: "Face it Lisa, you're too puny to.... <THUD!> Ahhhhhh!"
Lisa: "Hahahahaha!" Marge: "Lisa, unhand your brother!"
Lisa: <Laughing> Bart: "Yeah, like that really hurt!....."
Homer: "Why you little!.... Ahhhhh! Crabs!"
Homer: "English, who needs that, I'm never going to England!"
Bart: "My fantasy has come true!"
Flanders: "Hi diddely ho neighbor!" Homer: "Get lost Flanders!"
Flanders: "Okely dokely!"
Marge: "Everybody... everybody please be on your best behavior...
Bart.. No grifting!" Bart: "Awwww Raspberries!"
Bart: "Hey Santa, what's shakin' man?"
Homer TRYING to sing a line from Steve Millers' 'Joker'.
Homer: "How do you do, sir?"
Hotel Bellboy: "OK there's your king size bed.. <wolfwhistle>
<assorted noised> Hubba hubba!" Homer "Stop that! I love
my wife and family.. all I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating,
and maybe building a little fort, and that's it!"
Bart: "Hubba Hubba!"
Bart: "C'mon have a sense of humor about yourself!"
Homer: "Kiss my curvy butt gooooooodbye!"
Homer: "Kiss my hairy yellow butt."
Homer: "This is a place of learning, not a house of... hearing about
Homer: "I'm gonna drink a lotta beer and stay out alllll night!"
Relative: <In Italian accent> "Hey Moe, whassa matter, you no
talka with you accent no more.." Moe: "Mama mia!"
Homer: <singing> "Nacho, nacho man.... I gotta be a nacho man.."
Flanders: "Oh.. I think it's time for me to duck again.." Homer:
"No, I want everyone to know <loudly> that this is Ned Flanders,
my friend!" Bystander 1: "What did he say?" Bystander 2:
"I dunno... something about being gay.."
Marge: "We have a problem here."
Bart: "I'll be right back!"
Chief Wiggum: "Roger dodger!
Marge: "Awwww that's slick willie for ya... always with the smooth
Bart: "Ahhhh the system works!"
Homer: "This is great, I can finally look like I want, and not get
hassled by The Man."
Homer: "Wooohooo! come to poppa!"
Bart: "Uh oh!"
Wiggums Kid: "He bent my wookie!"
Marge: "Yeah, right!"
Federal agent: "This man's an illegal alien." Burns: "That's
proposterous Zutroy here is as American as apple pie!" Zutroy: <Germanic
to the main page