3STATES.WAV Abe: "Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays... please eliminate 3.. I am not a crackpot."

912.WAV Wiggum: "No, you've got the wrong number, this is 9 - 1 - ..... 2."

ABBITCH.WAV Abe: "Ahhh bitch bitch bitch!"

APUBITCH.WAV Apu: "We're putting that bitch on ice!"

APUHELL.WAV Apu: "Thank you for coming, I'll see you in hell!" <BANG!>

APUSINGS.WAV Apu singing Sgt Peppers lonely hearts club band. <hilarious!>

AWCRAP.WAV Krusty: "Awwwww Crap!"

BALONEY.WAV Homer: <singing> "My baloney has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R , my baloney has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R."

BDAMAGE.WAV Doc: "This stuff can cause brain damage."

BEEGUY.WAVBeeguy: "Ay, No es bueno."

BEER!.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm Beer!"

BESTSEX.WAV Abe: "Think of me when you're having the best sex of your life!"

CARTOON.WAV Krusty: "Grrr I could pull a better cartoon than that outta my a... ahem! heh heh heh whoah! well, ummm wasn't that great kids?"

CLEVER.WAV <dog barking> Homer: "I guess you might say he's barking up the wrong bush. heh heh heh heh!" Homer thinking: "There it is Homer, the cleverest thing you'll ever say, and nobody heard it." Homer: "DOH!"

COLA.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmmm invisible cola!"

DAMSTRAT.WAV Abe: "Damn straight!"

DONTMIX.WAV Smithers: "I think women and seamen don't mix."

DONUTS.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm Doughnuts!"

DRNICK.WAV Dr Nick: "Hi Everybody!"

EATSHRTS.WAV Bart: "Eat my shorts!"

EVILHOMR.WAV Homer <singing>: "I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer.........."

FLNTSTN.WAV Homer singing his own spinoff of the Flintstones theme. <VERY funny>

FREE_GOO.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm free goo!"

HA-HA.WAV Nelson: "Ha Ha!"

HALFASS.WAV Homer: "If you don't like your job, you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed, thats the American way."

HEY!.WAV Abe: "Hey!"

HOTBEEF.WAV Doctor: "Ahhhh diagnosis... Delicious!" Homer: "I've got the prescription for you, Doctor... another hot beef injection... heh heh heh!"

I&SHOW.WAV The theme from the 'Itchy & Scratchy Show"

IMEANWOO.WAV Homer: "DOH! DOH! DOH! huh... I mean woohoo heh."

KILLBOSS.WAV Homer: "Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

LISA.WAV Lisa: "Do you remember when you lost your passion for this work?"

LIZARD.WAV Lisa: "I am the Lizard Queeeen!"

LOMBARDI.WAV Homer: "C'mon Bart, remember what Vince Lombardi said... 'If you lose, you're outta the family.' " Marge: "Homer!" <WHACK> Homer: "Owww!"

LOTTERY.WAV Homer: "If you really want something in this life, you've got to work for it.... now be quiet they're about to announce the lottery numbers........ TV: 17... Homer: "DOH! TV: 32.. Homer: "DOH!" TV: 5 Homer: "Arrrrghhh" TV: 8 Homer: "WOOOHOOO!" TV: 47 Homer: "DOH!!!"

MARGE.WAV Marge: "Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

MCRUMBLE.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmmm crumbled up cookie things!"

MINCAPAC.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmmmm incapacitating!"

MMEDICIN.WAV Homer: "Mmmmm mediciny!"

MMMBEER.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm Beer!"

MOESTVRN.WAV Moe: "Moes' tavern."

MRPLOW.WAV Homer: "Mr. Plow that's my name, that name again is Mr Plow."

MSOMETHG.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm something!"

MSPGHTTI.WAV Homer: "Mmmmmm spaghetti!"

NEVERTRY.WAV Homer: "You've tried your best, and you failed miserably... the lesson is... never try... hehhehheh!"

NOLEARN.WAV Homer: "I haven't learned a thing."

OLDMAN.WAV Abe: "I'm an old man, I hate everything.... except Matlock... Ohhhh it's on now!"

OTTOCOOL.WAV Otto:"Cooooool!"

OUTAHERE.WAV Homer: "That's it, I'm outta here!"

OVARIES.WAV Bart: "Oooohhhhhhhhhh my ovaries!"

PADDLASS.WAV Patrick Stewart: "And now the final ordeal, the paddling of the swollen ass."

PERCODAN.WAV Krusty: "It wasn't my fault, it was the percodan."

SCHINDLR.WAV Burns: "Schindler and I were like peas in a pod, we were both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked dammit!"

SEX.WAV Marge: "No, I will not pay you $500 for sex."

SGT_DORK.WAV Nelson: "Hey look, it's Sgt. Dork! Ha - Ha!"

SHOOTPLN.WAV Abe: "I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year.... I proved myself wrong."

SHOTAT.WAV Apu: "I won't lie to you, on this job, you will be shot at."

SOSMART.WAV Homer: <singing> "I am so smart! I am so smart! S - M - R - T, I mean S - M - A - R - T !"

STUPIDTV.WAV Homer: "Stupid TV.... be more funny!"

TEACHERS.WAV Skinner: "Ladies, and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened.... some sick, twisted individual has stolen every teachers edition in this school... Teachers: "What do we do?" "Declare a snow day!" "Does anyone know the multiplication tables?" Skinner: "Now, please... please, don't panic... they can smell fear."

TRUTH.WAV Homer: "You don't know what it's like, I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order, youre out of order!.. the whole freakin system is out of order.. you want the truth?.. you want the truth?? you can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friends face you don't know what to do.. forget it Marge, it's Chinatown!" Marge: "Homer!" <WHACK>

WAIT.WAV Abe: "Wait a minute!"

WEASEL.WAV Homer: "Marge, don't discourage the boy, weaseling out of things is important to learn, it's what separates us from the animals.... except the weasel."

WEREBEEF.WAV Homer: "Heheheheheheh..... Where's the beef?"

WIGGUM.WAV Wiggum: "Just get one of those inflatable women, but make sure it's a woman, 'cause one time I.... eh heh heh heh."

WIGUM.WAV Wiggum: "Hey Homer... bring me another one of them burgers, will ya?"

WILLY.WAV Barney: "We want Chilly Willy, We want Chilly Willy!"

WILLY1.WAV Skinner: "The students are a little over stimulated today, remove all the colored chalk from the rooms." Willy: "I warned ya, I warned ya didn't I?"

WILLY2.WAV Skinner: "Pull Willy, pull!" Willy: "I'm doing all the pulling, ya bloke!"

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